Bought the clippers and hacked off
A month’s worth of growth
Do you think the body waits
For you to want to live again?
The dirt of a hundred miles
Gathered as I stumbled in the dark to find freedom
Fell away with each snip.
A month ago
Started the morning cooking my meals for the day
Counted out the blue pills and wondered if they would be enough
Had a shower. Went through the motions. Got ready to go to work.
Skipped the moisturiser. What did it matter?
Wherever I was going
My skin wouldn’t need protection
Started writing goodbye notes
Not good enough
Not strong enough
But this was a month ago
Always the quotidian asserts itself.
I cut my toenails today.
And one day I will be free.