Here is the presentation I used in class to share with you some of my thoughts about your essays. I have also uploaded here the presentations that I linked to: run-on sentences and dangling participles.
Like I told you in class, I would like you to redraft your essays, but you can do this over the March break. This gives you time to meet up with me if you need to, to go through your essays.
The redraft should be done by rewriting the essay, making the suggested changes. If there is something you do not agree with, then write your own sentence in again, but include a note in brackets explaining why you prefer that to my suggestion. This develops your critical thinking ability, and also ensures that you do not just blindly accept what is told to you. At the same time, being required to explain your decision means that you do not blindly dismiss what is suggested to you.